My best friend died. Grief was entirely new to me. Oh, people I loved had died before – aunts and uncles, grandparents, and so on.
I was sad when those people died; I missed them. I even wondered about their eternal rest, but I felt comfortable in knowing that they were in Heaven, and I always figured that if Heaven turned out not to exist, it didn’t matter anyway because we’d be dead and wouldn’t know it.
I know that’s a morbid way to look it, but that’s how my mind worked.
I grew up with church and God and faith, but I’d never before experienced any challenge to that faith.
After the death of my friend, I encountered a challenge, one I wasn’t sure I could surmount. I felt I was taking too long to grieve. I worried that people around me would get tired of me. “Get over it,” I told myself.
I’d heard that often growing up. My parents raised me with that attitude. Life is tough. Get over it and move on.
I thought something must be wrong with me because, try as I might, I could not get over my friend’s death. I literally felt a part of me missing, and I didn’t know how to get it back.
He was dead. Gone. And it physically hurt me. I never knew grief physically hurt like that – like something had been ripped from me. In a lifetime of never feeling quite good enough, he had filled that role in me. He was my ‘goodness’.
I logically know (and knew then) that we should never define ourselves by another person, but I always had, and I struggled to set that belief of mine aside. He always made me feel good enough; he took time to listen to me, share with me, laugh with me, cry with me.
No one else knew the real me like he did. Without him, I didn’t know how I could ever be me again.
After a period of time (a very long period of time), I turned to God for help. Nothing else had made any difference. I bought a new Bible, Contemporary English Version so that I could easily understand it, and encased it in a beautiful Thomas Kinkade Cover.
I clung to that Bible hugging it closely to me as often as I could. It went everywhere with me, even to work. Just touching it made me feel better. Opening it and running my fingers over the pages calmed my grief as I thought of and actually felt the promise of eternal life through Jesus Christ.
In the months and months following my friend’s death, I read everything I could about death and dying. I tried to understand exactly what it meant, to be dead.
I asked God for proof constantly that His Word was real, and I found myself going back over particular scriptures regularly, ingraining them in me so that they became a part of me…not something I read and tried to absorb from the outside in but actually a part of the living, breathing me.
These scriptures about grief helped me the most:
1. Psalm 100:5 His love and faithfulness will last forever.
Forever. His love and faithfulness won’t only last while we are here on this earth, but it will last forever. Always. For eternity. Amen!
2. Psalm 16:7-11 I praise you, Lord, for being my guide. Even in the darkest night, your teachings fill my mind. I will always look to you, as you stand beside me and protect me from fear. With all my heart, I will celebrate, and I can safely rest. I am your chosen one. You won’t leave me in the grave or let my body decay. You have shown me the path to life, and you make me glad by being near to me.
God is our guide. No matter how difficult our lives can be here on earth, He is always with us. He’ll never abandon us. Through Him, we know how to live, here on earth and for eternity. We know joy because of our God.
3. Matthew 5:4 God blesses those people who grieve. They will find comfort.
It’s okay to grieve. We love strongly, and we grieve strongly. Fortunately, God will comfort us in our grief when we turn to Him.
4. Philippians 4:7 God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand.
Once we can truly give our grief to God and be comforted by Him, we will know the peace from His promise of everlasting life.
5. Hebrews 11:1 Faith makes us sure of what we hope for and gives us proof of what we cannot see.
With our faith, we have proof that our loved ones are okay.
6. Philippians 2:15-16 Try to shine as lights among the people of this world, as you hold firmly to the message that gives life.
We’re still here on earth for a reason, to make it His kingdom. We know Him and know what it means to truly live.
7. Colossians 1:5 Because what you hope for is kept safe for you in heaven.
We hope our loved ones still exist. We pray they are safe and at peace. God tells us it is true.
Years ago, when I first clung to these scriptures, they comforted me because of the hope they offered. At that time, it was only hope. I hadn’t yet completely put my trust in Him. Now, because I’ve come to trust, I find they bring me even more – comfort, hope, excitement, joy, faith, love.
I pray they help you, too.
Free Printable – 7 Scriptures to Help Survive Grief
In my early days of grief, I wanted something tangible to carry with me, so I made a printable version of these scriptures. Click HERE or on the image below to open your free copy.
Surviving grief isn’t easy, but you aren’t alone. Here are more posts on grief and grieving:
Prayer and Scripture for When You Need Permission to Grieve
7 More Scriptures to Help When You’re Grieving
5 Ways to Help Someone Grieving
How I Became Thankful in Grief
Learning to Manage Anger in Grief
5 Things ‘They’ Never Told Me about Grief
What scriptures to help with grief do you know? Please share in the comments below.
Want to remember this? Post 7 Scriptures to Help Survive Grief to your favorite Pinterest board!
Kara says
My first love and best friend of 27 years was in a tragic accident and drowned a month ago. He had just turned 39. I am so lost and beyond devastated. Reading about your relationship with your friend was so relatable. I find myself doing many of the same things; learning about death and clinging to God’s Word to get me through. I agree that it is a physical pain, like you can feel the hole left in your heart. The thought of reuniting with him in heaven someday is one of the few things that comforts me. Thank you so much for this post which I came across at the most perfect time. God Bless.
Julie Pfeifer says
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. Please know that I will be praying for peace for you during this time. Keep turning to God and reach out for support when you need. ~Love, Julie
Miriam Domingo says
Thank you so much for this message.I really need this my boyfriend passed away last week.I feel devastated and I cant believe about his sudden death.I love him so much.He is my friend,happiness and my love.We are in long distance relationship and I cant go home to see him for the last time beacause of the pandamic.
Julie Pfeifer says
Miriam, I am so sad for you as I know how much you will miss him. Please take comfort in God’s promises. I will be praying for you. With love, ~Julie
Barbara Harper says
Revelation 21:4 helps me: “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (ESV).When my mom died suddenly, with no cancer to say good-bye, I often wished we could have one more conversation, one more hug. But when I thought of these verses, I thought, How could I wish her back from this? Knowing that she is with the Lord and having the hope of seeing her again makes it bearable.
A that someone sent me after my mom died was a comfort: “Let, I pray thee, thy merciful kindness be for my comfort, according to thy word unto thy servant” (Psalm 119:76, KJV).
Then a few years ago, our pastor died from cancer. He was in his early 50s and doing so much good for the Lord, with the potential to do more–it was hard to understand why God would take him. John 17:24 was a big help then: “Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world” (ESV).
Julie Pfeifer says
I love these scriptures. Thank you for sharing!
Anita Ojeda says
When we draw close to God, he will draw close to us. What a beautiful story of drawing close to God.
Leah says
Thank you for this post. I truly needed it. One Scripture that I took comfort in when my dad passed away was Isaiah 57:1-2 NLT “Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. But no one seems to wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come. For those who follow godly paths will rest in peace “
Julie Pfeifer says
Leah, I’m so thankful you found this post when you needed it. And I love this scripture from Isaiah. Thank you so much for sharing!
Sara says
Grief feels like your heart is being ripped out. Thank goodness you found something to hold on to. Your grief taught you (is teaching you) how to be in its presence which is now helping us. ^_^
Julie Pfeifer says
It surely does feel like that! I hope what I’ve learned can help others; I felt lost for so long and would love to know I’ve helped someone else know they aren’t alone. Thank you so much for commenting! ~Julie
Mihaela Echols says
Wow powerful post!
Julie Pfeifer says
Mihaela, thank you. God bless!
Kathy Jones says
Proverbs chapter 3. Verses 5.6
Julie Pfeifer says
Amen! Love these verses!
Amy says
This post really resonated with me this morning. I have three friends that lost a loved one over the past weekend, and I am struggling to wrap my head around the fact that my mom has been given a terminal diagnosis and 2-3 years to live. The grief is strong, but turning to scripture is definitely the only way to get through it!
Julie Pfeifer says
I am so sorry for your friends and for your mom’s diagnosis. So much to deal with all at once! Yes, scripture and Christ’s promise of eternal life in Him let us see the big picture. It doesn’t take all the worldly pain away all at once, but it provides hope and a ‘cushion’ of sorts to ease our pain and comfort us. Bless you all! ~Julie
Leanne | The Transplanted Southerner says
Such comforting verses and a timely article. Thank you for sharing.
Julie Pfeifer says
Thank you so much for stopping by. I’m so glad you found comfort here. God bless!
Clare Speer says
Goodness – I can SO relate… I lost my parents – dear to my heart and everyday in my life (7 months apart)… although it’s been approx. 3 years ago – I still honestly struggle – but God is good – and thanks for the scriptures and support! Just what I needed!
Julie Pfeifer says
I’m so sorry for the loss of your parents. I can’t imagine! Thank you for stopping by and for sharing. God bless!
Rebecca Perez says
I need help with a loss of four family members who all died in the same year one after another, first my dad in January of 2012 and then my mom in February of 2012 and then in June my daughter and her husband were murdered. I so believe in God but it has been difficult to to even know where to begin. Maybe some one can give me some advice. Please. Thank you and God bless you.
Julie Pfeifer says
Oh Rebecca, I am so very sorry for your losses. I can’t even begin to imagine the grief you are experiencing. I found help through my church. First, it was just in a display of little booklets on various subjects they offered free/for a donation. I gathered all I could over grief, over death and dying…anything I felt looked like something I could relate to, and I read them over and over. I don’t know if you have a church, but I’m positive if you don’t you could find one to help you. Also through my church (you’ll see a theme here), I became more involved because as I realized more of who I am in Christ, I understood His Truth and promises better and could eventually let the pain of grief go. I also learned talking about my loved ones and talking about my grief helped. It took a long time, but being able to talk helped let it out rather than store it up. Again, many churches have grief support groups so you might consider looking into one even if you have friends to talk with. It never hurts to have the extra support. I literally clung to my faith by carrying my bible with me and even hugging it to me frequently to remind myself of Christ and of eternal life. I found my hope again through Him. He is there for you, too. I will be praying for you. God bless you! With so much love in Him, Julie
Donna says
Great post. We all travel a grief journey sooner or later. Good words here.
Sharing this.
Julie Pfeifer says
Donna, thank you for your kind words. God bless!
Judy says
I needed this today. My mom has enter End of Life and I find that I am grieving even now while she is alive. The scriptures are always a comfort as well as knowing that God has us within his loving embrace even during this time.
Julie Pfeifer says
Oh Judy, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I’m glad you find comfort in scripture and in God’s love and grace. I will be praying for you. God bless!
Marie says
Thank you for writing this post. I have been very fortunate to not have grief over take my time, but I have several friends that could use this post. I’m glad to have helpful verses to share with them.
Julie Pfeifer says
Marie, Thank you for your kind words. I would love for you to share these scriptures with your friends. God bless!
Randee says
Thank you for this post. Dealing with the loss of a friend–and have no idea how to feel anything but sadness.
Julie Pfeifer says
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I do understand not being able to feel anything but sadness. It can take time but keep searching and growing in who you are in Christ and remember His promises of eternal life. It took ‘forever’ for me. It’s been almost 12 years now, and I still have days where I feel sad and a little panicky that dead is dead. Those panicky feelings are not the Truth, though. Under my Thoughts and Reflections tab, I have a category for Grief where I’ve posted some other thoughts and experiences with my grief in order to hopefully help someone feeling the same types of things. Let me know thoughts, questions, ideas you might have. God bless you!
Melanie Pickett says
What a lovely post. I lost a close friend earlier this month and it’s difficult, a palpable ache when we lose a loved one. I’m praying for you, that God will give you comfort and the reassurance you need.
Julie Pfeifer says
So sorry for your loss and thank you for your prayers. You will also be in my prayers. God bless!
Isabella @ La Bella Vida Design says
What a lovely, strong, empowering post. Thank you so much for the share; I needed this a year and a half ago after my father passed. I still deal with the grief to this day and reading this put a smile on my face. Thanks again, dear!
Julie Pfeifer says
So glad you found comfort here. I’m so sorry for your loss. God bless you!
Sarah Ann says
What a strong and powerful post! It will be a blessing to someone who grieves. I’m sharing your story today on my social media!
Julie Pfeifer says
So thankful for your kind words. I pray it can be a blessing to many. Thank you for sharing. God bless!
Jeanne says
I love this, thank you. It’s simple and comforting. God didn’t choose for us live a life with pain and she carries all our tears…this I find the most comfort in. My son died as an infant 28 years ago. I honestly never thought I would survive that. I did but it took time and I don’t think I could of done it without my faith. Then 7 years ago I lost my best friend (my sister) this is still so painful for me, we were so close. I know that I will live forever with her in heaven.
Julie Pfeifer says
Jeanne,
I’m so sorry for your losses and am thankful you found comfort in this post. It has been a long road for me, as I know it can be for many. I also take comfort in knowing we will have forever in heaven. And in the meantime, we can do our little part to help make the earth as much like heaven as we can (with love!). Thank you so much for commenting.
Julie
Adrena says
Your story is the life i find myself in now. Extreme grief. Emotionally and physically painful. My best friend left me in July and daily I miss him. I lost my happy that day. Still I’m trying to find it again, and fear I may never…. These verses do bring a sense of peace and comfort. Thank you!
Julie Pfeifer says
Oh Adreana, July is not very long ago at all. For me, it’s been since July as well but over 11 years ago! It is a long process of ups and downs and in-betweens. I still miss him every single day. Hold tight to your faith. Your best friend is okay. I know it doesn’t seem that it could be true, but it is. Trust God. Trust yourself. I have another post scheduled for in the morning called Thankful in Grief that I would love you to read when it posts. Remember every time you read something I write how much time has passed for me; I wasn’t ‘okay’ for a long time. There’s no time limit. Each day do all you can to learn and grow, to nurture your relationship with God, to understand who you are in Him. Please email me any time at julie (at) lovingchristministries.com. You can write about your grief, write down memories (it helps!), write anything to me. I’m not a counselor, so I won’t say I can solve everything, but I can ‘listen’. Everyone’s story is different, so we won’t be totally alike in our grief, but it really does help to know you’re not alone. And you aren’t!