When You Need to Ask for Help, Here’s What To Do:
Today, I’m excited to share with you two tips I follow when I need to ask for help planning and holding a women’s retreat. For a long time, I didn’t want to ask anyone for help. It wasn’t that I didn’t need it; I just didn’t want to ‘bug’ anyone. What if they said no? That seemed like a terrible thing, and I wasn’t sure I could handle it.
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Kind of sad, isn’t it?
After a week or two of planning for our first retreat, it quickly became evident we were going to have to ask for help. I had to get over my fear of possible rejection and make the calls. In the years since that first retreat, asking for help has only gotten a tiny bit better. Sorry to say that, but it’s the truth. 🙂 I still have those initial moments of fear. Fortunately, I’ve discovered a routine that helps streamline the process.
It’s important to establish your planning team first, but then you’ll still need to ask for help from others who are not on teams. It truly takes many people pitching in to make your retreat successful. Ladies tend to want to help in some way but fear being ‘sucked in’ for a commitment larger than they’re prepared to make. Because of this, it’s smart to ask as many as possible to do one or two small things. They don’t have to be on a team. They don’t have to commit to a large time spent planning. They just need to pitch in and help with one or two small things. You’ll be pleasantly surprised how many want to do this.
When the ladies can pitch in, they feel ownership in the retreat and tend to get more out of it. That’s why I like to try to get as many of them involved as possible. However, that means I have to get a hold of them and ask for help. Eek!
With this 2 step process, I’ve found that I can shed some of the stress I feel when asking and find the help I need.
First of all, and most importantly, be sure to pray before and after you request help. This can keep you focused on your purpose and invite Christ into your request plus give Him thanks after.
1. Introduce and Explain – tell the potential helper who you are, what specific event and job you need them to help with, and what the time commitment will look like. It’s not uncommon to jump right in and make the ask quickly, but starting with an introduction and specific details gives a person time to let it all sink in.
2. Suggest a Response Time frame – rather than have them make a commitment immediately, ask them to pray about it and let you know within a certain time frame. Usually, a week is plenty of time. If they don’t know by then, they probably don’t feel called to help. If you don’t hear back from them within that time frame, follow up with another call. If they say no, it’s okay. Sometimes, the time just isn’t right.
These two tips have saved me from the fear of imposing and the stress of waiting. If you have a tip for calling to ask for help, please comment below! I’m always searching for new ideas.
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