A Punch in the Nose? No! Not really…keep reading…
Okay, here you go. You get real me here. I mean the real, deep, down, dirty me. Not that I’m not real in all my posts. I am. But it’s time you know right off the bat that I’ve got some issues going on. At least I’m aware of them, right? I figure if I’m aware of them, I can work on making them better, and that’s a good thing. I’ll keep telling myself that anyway.
Have you ever just wanted to punch someone? Right in the nose? I have. Like right now, a little bit. I told my husband I thought I’d write this blog post. His response, “Writing it would be cathartic but posting it could be felonious.” Once I got past the big words, I figured hey, I just won’t use any names. That’s always a good idea.
So this lady at work. Hmmmm. I struggle with her frequently. She’s smarmy. And snitty. She frequently treats me as if I don’t know or do what I’m supposed to.
That’s tough to deal with.
In a perfect world, I would go and talk to her and share my feelings and things would be hunky dory. In my real everyday world, however, that won’t work. I know because I tried it once. She peered at me, lips pressed tightly together, nodded, and never changed.
So today when she smarted off to me, I had this sudden urge to thrust my fist out and punch her right in the face. Told you I had issues. Fortunately, I can control them. Usually.
I don’t understand unpleasant people. Oh sure, I get having a bad day, but Every. Single. Day? Please.
Then, I think about me. I’m not perfect either. This very article proves that, doesn’t it? Because of my own imperfections, I figured I needed to write this, refer to it, and keep things in perspective. Perspective helps tons.
With faith and perspective, I can deal with difficult people in a positive way. With faith, I have these four things to help me carry on:
1. Not everyone knows God or if they do, they may not understand how to allow Him to lead their lives
I do understand, and so I must do better. Be better. Maya Angelou said it best, “When you know better, you do better.” I know better.
2. Everyone needs compassion, love that’s never failing (Hillsongs United – Mighty to Save lyrics)
Compassion belongs to all people, not just the ones we get along with. Unfailing love can come from me, especially when someone isn’t acting in accordance with God’s unfailing love.
3. We don’t really know what others are going through
There’s a whole backstory to each and every person. A difficult person’s behavior may be a result of their difficult life.
4. Others’ behavior does not reflect me unless I respond in kind
Frequently, I must remind myself that it’s not about me! If I am acting in love, responding in love, keeping up with my responsibilities, and otherwise doing the right thing, then I can’t take on someone else’s personality as a reflection of who I am.
Of course, I would never punch someone in the nose. Never in my life has punching been part of my coping skills. However, I don’t want to retaliate in any way – being hateful back, talking about her, etc. I’m not always good at this; I am human, stumbling through each day, each moment trying to listen and follow God and falling short time after time.
I will refer to this post when I need reminders!
Kristen says
Number 3 is KEY!!!! We really need to extend the benefit of the doubt with people!
Julie Pfeifer says
Absolutely!
Michelle Rivoire says
Thank you so much for this post Julie!! I’m sure we all have “that” coworker or several, ha! But this was right on time! Thanks for the reminders! And thank you for your time you spend helping us all. You are such a blessing! God bless you and your family! <3
Julie Pfeifer says
Thank YOU for your sweet comment and for understanding my humor! lol Yes, I finally had to remove myself from the presence of that particular co-worker when possible and then remember my own points when coming into unavoidable contact with her. Blessings to you!
Dawn says
Good one! Thx for sharing.
I wanted to punch my dentist in the nose….he hurt me!
Julie Pfeifer says
lol I’ve felt that way about my dentist, too!
Leigh says
I’m 2 totally different people when it comes to my co-workers. I try daily to restrain myself and let them see Jesus in me. But man, it’s hard, especially when I want to punch them right in the nose! Let me ask you this, what if you know their daily circumstances. And it’s not because they have a bad life that they want to make others miserable. Yes they are miserable with their life, but they by no means have a terrible life. They have it made in fact! They go to church and proclaim to be a Christian. It’s almost like none of those principles apply to this person. They are just mean and crave the drama! I have tried to praying for them. Short of finding another job, I don’t know how to handle them any longer. I am constantly biting my tongue. I’m surprised it hasn’t been severed off.
I appreciate this post. I did need to hear it. I thank you. God is good!
Julie Pfeifer says
Oh boy, it is definitely extra difficult to deal with the ones who have a good life and who proclaim to be Christians when they don’t act lovingly in any way. I just have to keep reminding myself that their behavior is not about me! It’s not a reflection of who I am just as your co-workers are not a reflection of who you are. My relationship with Christ is more important than mine with them, and I just continue trying (sometimes it’s sooo hard, isn’t it?!) to allow Him to live through me. When I do, I know I’ve honored Him and honored myself. Maybe some little bit of that will rub off on them and they will learn to receive and to give grace as well. Maybe it won’t. But at least at the end of the day, we can know we’ve been true to our love for Him. Keep praying! I’ll pray, too!
Leigh says
Thank you Julie! That is just the answer I needed to hear. Glad I found this. Keep it up! I can definatley see God using you. 🙂 Thanks again.
Christy says
I am a 45 year old woman. I came //this close// to punching a 19 year old young man that I work with. He literally makes my eye twitch when I am around him. Today is the first day I have to work with him This was at the top of my Pinterest feed. God obviously thought I needed some reminders before I go to work.
Julie Pfeifer says
I’m thrilled this was at the top of your Pinterest feed right when you needed it! I know just what you mean about needing reminders. I’m right there with you! Good luck today. I’ll say a prayer for you!
DeeRoJ says
GOD’S Timing! ! I was on pinterest looking for a new lifestyle budget and this Pin caught my eye. I just changed careers after 25yrs in Retail Mgt I’m now working in leadership with a well known Technology Corp with in a call center setting. While going through my Mgr On boarding Process of learning this new skillset, I’ve come across a Tenored Mgr (not my direct report) who has been a living Nightmare! He pulls his weight around daily, curses like a Sailor, has attempted to embarrass me in front of my co-workers as well as subordinates. I set down with him to get clarification of our encounters together as well as express my concerns about his interactions with me being disrespectful. His response was “That’s just Me, everyone knows that I talk this way”. ….So I this is nothing but a distraction from the enemy and I give him no play, therfore I have immediately began Prayerful Meditations. Yet this Post that you Almost didn’t Post is A GOD Send!! I have forwarded this article/blog to my email for Reflection of Reference!! GOD DOES ALL THINGS WELL. Thank you Bless you Julie Indeed!!
Julie Pfeifer says
Oh, thank you so much for your comment! I definitely question what I ‘want’ to post sometimes in the fear that I might offend someone. However, I strongly believe when I feel compelled to share my thoughts and feel the peace and love of Christ with it, that there must be at least one person who can benefit and know they aren’t alone in their own feelings/experiences. I will pray for your work situation! God bless you!
Sarah says
Amen Girlfriend! Glad someone said it! I work in an office of many and have thought this on a few occasions.
Julie Pfeifer says
For sure. I considered not posting it but I thought surely others have felt it and just not said it! I try to not let those thoughts rule me, but the truth is, they pop no matter what. I just have to work on my reaction and response both externally and internally. Thanks for commenting!
Stefanie @ CalledHis.com says
This is a beautiful post – pinning!! It’s something I struggle with for sure when people drive me right up the wall. Wanting to be Christlike and BEING Christlike are very different, and I”m so proud of you for actually seeing outside of yourself and giving others the benefit of the doubt… I think we as a society forget that a lot.
Julie Pfeifer says
We do forget, don’t we! I have a dear friend who once said to me, “There’s a difference between living for Jesus and allowing Jesus to live through us.” I think about that all the time when I’m working to respond in love. I know that’s what he meant…the same thing you’re saying about wanting to be Christlike and BEING Christlike. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and faith.
Kelli says
I LOVE your honesty and transparency! I used to work with a woman like this – she was the owner of the company I worked for. I couldn’t do ANYTHING right, even though I was! I especially love point #4! That thorn in my side? I still work for her and we get along great! I started praying for her – for blessings for her. I’m not sure how much it changed her, but it certainly changed me! 🙂
Julie Pfeifer says
Difficult people are definitely a struggle. I love that you started praying for your boss; what a wonderful thing. I don’t do that enough but am going to step that up! Thank you for your thoughts and for sharing your faith!